"Year of the Rat" by Badly Drawn Boy

The HR lady called me today and said my initial requests were a bit high and would I consider proceeding with these adjusted salaries? It was about 3K less than what I wanted. I tried my best to plead and whine but it did no good. She will call me back with a finalized offer. Good news is that they're putting me in a higher position than the one I applied for. Also they are making me "exempt" which is code word for being on salary and not paid by the hour. This is good for them because I tend to work way too much. And this is good for me because it means my April bonus will then range from 1-3 months' worth of pay. And then there is a June bonus where they take the number of months I've worked and multiply that by some magic number that's related to investment returns and market conditions and pork bellies and shuttle foam and Mad Cow disease and whether or not that blonde girl is still missing in Aruba. (That is to say, it is an arcane process.)

I think in worst case scenarios. I still believe at any moment I can lose everything. In fact I am preemptively mourning the loss of so many things.